Friday Feature: Akia Ajayi
Who am I when everything is quiet and the music stops?
I used to be filled with so much hurt and pain. There were times of depression and many suicidal thoughts. I felt unloved, unwanted, and useless. One outlet of mine was dancing. I would turn on my favorite songs and just dance! When I would dance that was my way of communicating to God and releasing every thing that didn't come from Him. When I danced God reaffirmed me that His love is all I needed and that in and through Him I can have joy, peace of mind, and confidence to truely love myself. I would wear a smile with while around others but when alone I cried many nights. Another outlet I had was writing in a jonural. It was just God and I. I would write Him letters, songs, and poems. In those moments when I wasn't able to dance, all I needed was a quiet room, pen and my jonural. As I wrote to Him, He spoke to me!
But now when everything is quiet and the music stops, I am still confident, filled with joy and have such a peace that is so sweet! I know that I am loved by The King. I know I am not deserving of God's love and I love Him for looking pass my past and loving me through the hurt and pulling me out of depression. My feet are planted in Him.