Who Am I When Everything is Bare?
For the past year and seven months I have been on a self-love journey. I
had to re-discover who I was because for a period of time, I lost myself.
Low self esteem is an issue I have struggled with on and off since my teenager years. Negative comments and bullying shaped my self-concept and self esteem.
During the summer before my sophomore year in college, I found myself in my first relationship. Although short lived (it lasted for about 3 months), I was in love. Or so I thought. I was so happy that someone was finally interested in me. I was someone's girlfriend. I didn't know then, but that relationship validated me. When it ended, I was devastated. I put my trust in someone and the outcome was disappointing. In addition, the title aka the confidence boost was gone.
I wish my self-love journey started at that point but it didn't. About four years later I found myself in a situationship. Eventually the situationship turned into a relationship. Again, my worth was determined by the fact that a guy was interested in me. It took a while but I started to realize that I was not happy. I was losing myself for the sake of being with someone. I prayed about it and against my better judgement I stayed. God had a better plan than I did though. The relationship ended and I was left to evaluate who I was. I was inspired to start my self love journey on Valentine's Day in 2014. I took myself on a date and the rest is history.
My self love journey has been rewarding thus far. I embrace my flaws and imperfections. I affirm myself when I think negatively. I journal and write poems as a creative outlet. I take selfies and love who I see staring back at me.
I thank God for the season of singleness that I've been blessed with. I have been reminded that my worth is found in Christ and in Him alone. I am Royalty Refined.