Who Am I When Everything is Rejection?
Rejection. It’s a term that has literally lived in my head my entire life. When we are rejected from certain things in life we often equate that to not being good enough. For years, I struggled feeling like I wasn’t good enough because I was always being rejected. I had been in countless relationships with guys where I was always compromising who I was to make sure they were pleased. It didn’t work though. No matter what I did or how often I did it, it was never enough. I was always left alone feeling hurt, broken, and confused as to what I could have done differently to make things work and to make them stay.
My feelings of rejection didn’t get better when I would apply for a job and get a email on how they decided to pursue other candidates, or the jobs that actually call you back for an interview only to pick the other person. I often find myself thinking, well, maybe you aren’t qualified Ashley, or maybe, you shouldn’t have went to school for four years to get a piece of paper that clearly is not working out in your favor. But as I mature in my faith, I have come to realize that rejection has nothing to do with me but about Gods protection and love He has over my life. I also now know that the negative inner thoughts I have about myself are not of God, but of the enemy. God tells us in the book of Jeremiah,
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
God has a plan for all of us but we must be willing to trust Him. We often miss the most important part of that scripture in the book of Jeremiah when He tells us that we must seek him with all of our heart. It’s so easy to think about all of the negative things about yourself when God has already told us that we are chosen, and everything He is doing in our lives is for OUR GOOD. Even though I went through, still am going through, and probably will continue to go through trials I know that its all for my good. I will no longer question when people are removed from my life. I will no longer question why I’m spending hours, days, weeks, and months looking for a job and getting rejected left and right. I will trust that God is setting me up for something oh so perfect and every closed door is for my good.