Who Am I When Everything is Crazy?
I recently started grad school, something that I had planned on doing since I graduated from undergrad. Even though I waited longer than I wanted to, I’m happy that I finally took the plunge. My first semester was not hard in my opinion. I was accepted late and thus could register for two classes. Both of these classes were accelerated and held at different times in the semester which worked in my favor since I work full-time. This semester however, I thought it be best if I attempted to take 3 classes, on top of a full-time job. As stated, my program includes accelerated classes, so I decided to take two accelerated classes and one regular class. I believed I was ready for the course work of the classes. However, in actuality, I wasn’t ready for the course work of the classes, my actual work load, two projects with the university (asked to be a part because of work experience) and various other obligations.
The last thing you want to do when your plate gets full is to fail. That would be the worst thing to happen to me. It would make all the nay-sayers right. The ones who were discouraging from the beginning. I didn’t want to feel like everything I had done up to this point was for nothing. So I asked myself “what am I doing wrong?” It was then I realized that in the midst of all, I needed to breathe and let God guide me. I know it was my decision to go back to school, but I also know I asked God for guidance to be able to do it while working full time. I also knew it was God’s desire for me be a part of these projects that will give insight, knowledge and experience on another area of my master’s program.
So, how did I think I could make it all mesh without God? When I took the time to let God direct my moves, everything no longer seemed overwhelming. Everything, even though I was still busy, flowed nicely. I no longer felt like my plate was too full. I can see the changes thus far and I love it. I never doubted God’s hand in this season, and I love knowing He is always present. His guidance was vital and my obedience was necessary.