Friday Feature: Angila Curvey-Chukwu
"I Am Radically Royal because I have that “Bounce Back”
At the age of 15 years old I found myself in a very dark place. I was living from place to place, addicted to drugs, and stealing to support my habit. My life had taken a very sharp turn for the worse when I started running away from home. I was running trying to fill a void that came from being rejected by my biological father and grandmother. That rejection caused me to have no self-esteem and act out in ways to try to cover how I really felt about myself. I wanted so badly to “fit in” that I allowed people to walk over me and never really had a voice of my own. I found myself in situations that I knew were no good for me and doing things that I hated myself for.
In my search to fill the void I filled it with drugs, alcohol, partying, and men. I found myself in abusive relationships over and over again. The voice that I eventually found was screaming for help, but nobody was hearing me. I was very defensive and had no issue with starting arguments. I realize now it was a defense mechanism to not allow anybody to get too close. When I did find myself in relationships that were starting to feel too good, I would sabotage them. I would either start a fight or just stop responding to the calls. I refused to allow anyone to reject me again.
I did not grow up until I had my second child. It was then I made the decision to go back to school to get a career. I had no choice. My husband at the time was in jail and would soon be deported. I knew that I had to do something for me and my children. He always took care of us, I did not work and foolishly, I did not save any money. He was deported two weeks before my son was born. Reality hit hard!
I had many bumps in the road, but I always bounced back. God provided and we never went without. I take no credit for my “bounce back”. I know it is only by the grace of God that I am still here today. I have survived addictions, abuse, abandonment, prison, depression, and so much more, but I never did it alone. Even in my dark days, God always showed me the light even if it was very dim. He kept me safe and loved me even when I could not and did not. I still have my moments from time to time but GOD! Because He lives in me and I live for Him, no matter how low or how heavy things get He gives me the strength to BOUNCE BACK!
My goal is to encourage, inspire and empower others by sharing my story and spreading hope. Check out angilac.com for weekly inspiring "Angie Moments".